Footprints

A LOT OF CHANGES coming through and I'm putting MY NEEDS on the front burner while MY WANTS simmer a lil' bit on the back burner for just a lil' bit. Believe it or not, a heart attack to some is just a part of life and they get on with thier lives like nothing happened while never skipping a beat.For others, it's a very very big life altering event where everything is thrown up into the air, not knowing when/where or how it mat fall. I feel so lost and I'm not sure if I'll ever be found. I know what I NEED TO DO but WHAT I WANT TO DO is trying to take over & I feel so guilty. I love my husband, our 4 beautiful kids & 2 precious granddaughters & I AM GRATEFUL  for everything we have & being alive but I FEEL LIKE just doing whatever, whenever/however I want & just going with the flow while thinking "I NEED" to do this/that because I may die tomorrow. I'm trying to get back on balance but I feel like I'm being tossed around in an hourglass and having no idea when the sand may run out. Am I too late to do that? will I have time tomorrow? will I be alive tomorrow? There's truly no end to the "What if's" running through my head right now. I'm just gonna have to get through this one step at a time. I'm walking on the beach with God & as I look back behind me, theres only one set of footprints so I AM OK, I'm just trying to balance myself.